








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1030 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 854 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7308 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10396 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3015 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 7727 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,032 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 24 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ★NΞØ★ | 23 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | CheeTing | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ЯIИZLΞЯ_Avtomat Kalashnikova | 14 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 7 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Chiggy_Wiggy | 1734 | 0.14 | 47 min |
| #2 | ЯIИZLΞЯ_Avtomat Kalashnikova | 1497 | 0.11 | 44 min |
| #3 | ★NΞØ★ | 1406 | 0.10 | 32 min |
| #4 | SaDisT (6'2) 🇮🇳 | 1272 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #5 | CheeTing | 852 | 0.16 | 19 min |





