








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1362 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1255 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,994 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt Talim | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | cat | 59% | 211 |
| #3 | Tony Soprano | 58% | 175 |
| #4 | Lil Baby | 54% | 244 |
| #5 | Mr.CleanBean | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Baby | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Tony Soprano | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Salt Talim | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | cat | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mr.CleanBean | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 521 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Tony Soprano | 445 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lil Baby | 339 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Salt Talim | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr.CleanBean | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Soprano | +3.37 | 48 | 51 |
| #2 | Lil Baby | +1.10 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Salt Talim | +0.85 | 40 | 47 |
| #4 | cat | +0.20 | 30 | 57 |
| #5 | Mr.CleanBean | -1.33 | 48 | 42 |





