








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2553 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,476 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt Talim | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Tony Soprano | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Lil Baby | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | cat | 51% | 118 |
| #5 | Infinitities1 | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt Talim | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Tony Soprano | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Lil Baby | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | cat | 51% | 118 |
| #5 | Infinitities1 | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Baby | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Salt Talim | 9 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | cat | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Tony Soprano | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Infinitities1 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 255 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tony Soprano | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lil Baby | 165 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Salt Talim | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Infinitities1 | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Soprano | +2.46 | 51 | 55 |
| #2 | Lil Baby | +1.15 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | Salt Talim | +0.50 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | Mr.CleanBean | -0.71 | 44 | 42 |
| #5 | cat | -0.84 | 26 | 53 |





