








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Wingman | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4628 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6841 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7501 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6118 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,307 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 50% | 299 |
| #2 | bighäz | 47% | 228 |
| #3 | JepuXI | 44% | 189 |
| #4 | Takavasara | 42% | 292 |
| #5 | MiniMuna22 | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bighäz | 47% | 228 |
| #3 | JepuXI | 44% | 189 |
| #4 | Takavasara | 42% | 292 |
| #5 | MiniMuna22 | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | Darwin "Darwinner" Núñez | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 24 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Takavasara | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | bighäz | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | JepuXI | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Darwin "Darwinner" Núñez | 5 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 777 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | bighäz | 488 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Takavasara | 331 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | JepuXI | 154 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Darwin "Darwinner" Núñez | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | +3.12 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Sorvu | +0.25 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | JepuXI | -0.14 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | bighäz | -0.26 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | MiniMuna22 | -1.92 | 55 | 54 |





