








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2888 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3228 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2725 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3439 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,174,686 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | MiniMuna22 | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | JepuXI | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | Takavasara | 48% | 167 |
| #5 | Hwmuli | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hwmuli | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | Sorvu | 47% | 228 |
| #7 | Lukkis | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | mocci | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | Niilo | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Sorvu | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Takavasara | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | JepuXI | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | MiniMuna22 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | 594 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sorvu | 556 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Takavasara | 264 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | JepuXI | 103 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | mocci | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulrikki | +3.02 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | Hwmuli | +1.42 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | MiniMuna22 | +0.10 | 52 | 57 |
| #4 | bighäz | +0.07 | 70 | 67 |
| #5 | JepuXI | -0.07 | 68 | 59 |





