








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1860 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3324 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3273 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,226 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dorsoscorpio | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Lupin | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | shermY | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | HolowTK | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | yb better 69 | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dorsoscorpio | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Lupin | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | shermY | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | HolowTK | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | yb better 69 | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dorsoscorpio | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | yb better 69 | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | shermY | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Lupin | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | HolowTK | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dorsoscorpio | 221 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | shermY | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | HolowTK | 124 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | yb better 69 | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lupin | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yb better 69 | +2.71 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | Dorsoscorpio | +1.46 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | HolowTK | +1.28 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | Diff | +0.79 | 64 | 45 |
| #5 | shermY | +0.58 | 64 | 67 |





