








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2101 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1958 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,381,531 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mem | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | DaGreatCake | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Mique10 | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Pug | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | CamoBrie | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bitner | 47% | 94 |
| #9 | Hook | 45% | 117 |
| #10 | Mique17 | 45% | 47 |
| #11 | Coole kikker | 36% | 70 |
| #12 | BalGehakt | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MemKing | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Hook | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | &IEM | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Bitner | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | BalGehakt | 9 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MemKing | 544 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | &IEM | 544 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hook | 277 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mique10 | 176 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mique17 | 102 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pug | +4.25 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Mique17 | +1.69 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | Mique10 | +1.60 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | MemKing | +1.36 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | sp4rx | +0.77 | 73 | 61 |





