








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4217 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4428 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2499 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2430 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,847,452 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mique17 | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | &IEM | 53% | 386 |
| #3 | Mique10 | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | sp4rx | 47% | 218 |
| #5 | Hook | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sp4rx | 47% | 218 |
| #5 | Hook | 46% | 168 |
| #6 | Coole kikker | 42% | 71 |
| #7 | Bitner | 42% | 102 |
| #8 | BalGehakt | 32% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | &IEM | 24 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sp4rx | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Hook | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Bitner | 13 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | BalGehakt | 11 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | &IEM | 1095 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #2 | sp4rx | 385 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Hook | 353 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mique10 | 289 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mique17 | 192 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mique17 | +1.59 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | MemKing | +1.28 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | sp4rx | +0.76 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Mique10 | +0.73 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | &IEM | -0.44 | 59 | 71 |





