








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5416 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5571 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4776 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4314 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,093 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOMINICK TEURETO | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Loder | 55% | 97 |
| #3 | JMs*- | 52% | 265 |
| #4 | alnzera | 50% | 389 |
| #5 | D3Lord | 49% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Loder | 55% | 97 |
| #3 | JMs*- | 52% | 265 |
| #4 | alnzera | 50% | 389 |
| #5 | D3Lord | 49% | 155 |
| #6 | NeMu™ | 38% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 50 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | JMs*- | 22 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Loder | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | NeMu™ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | D3Lord | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 1859 | 0.24 | 47 min |
| #2 | JMs*- | 1518 | 0.28 | 41 min |
| #3 | D3Lord | 134 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Loder | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 78 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | +2.49 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | alnzera | +1.30 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | Loder | +0.53 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | DOMINICK TEURETO | +0.50 | 54 | 50 |
| #5 | D3Lord | -0.59 | 59 | 51 |





