








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1506 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,918 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suk | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | DOMINICK TEURETO | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | wh0 | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | JMs*- | 55% | 163 |
| #5 | alnzera | 53% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wh0 | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | JMs*- | 55% | 163 |
| #5 | alnzera | 53% | 177 |
| #6 | D3Lord | 49% | 67 |
| #7 | NeMu™ | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | JMs*- | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | D3Lord | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | wh0 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | 900 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | alnzera | 758 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #3 | wh0 | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Suk | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | +2.42 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | alnzera | +1.17 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | Loder | +0.80 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | DOMINICK TEURETO | +0.42 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | D3Lord | -1.12 | 54 | 50 |





