








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8512 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5453 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5610 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3683 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,110,220 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suk | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | DOMINICK TEURETO | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Loder | 53% | 177 |
| #4 | JMs*- | 51% | 410 |
| #5 | wh0 | 50% | 389 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JMs*- | 51% | 410 |
| #5 | wh0 | 50% | 389 |
| #6 | D3Lord | 50% | 252 |
| #7 | b3ck *[ | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | NeMu™ | 44% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | 40 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | wh0 | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Loder | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | b3ck *[ | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | 2273 | 0.28 | 61 min |
| #2 | wh0 | 788 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | b3ck *[ | 306 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | D3Lord | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Suk | 185 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMs*- | +2.21 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | alnzera | +1.32 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | b3ck *[ | +1.13 | 90 | 68 |
| #4 | Loder | +0.61 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | DOMINICK TEURETO | -0.34 | 58 | 52 |





