








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1418 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2010 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,650 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 50% | 252 |
| #2 | Loder | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | wh0 | 49% | 155 |
| #4 | JMs*- | 49% | 148 |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Loder | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | wh0 | 49% | 155 |
| #4 | JMs*- | 49% | 148 |
| #5 | NeMu™ | 44% | 66 |
| #6 | b3ck *[ | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 32 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | JMs*- | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | wh0 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | b3ck *[ | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Loder | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alnzera | 1171 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #2 | JMs*- | 798 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #3 | wh0 | 352 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | b3ck *[ | 96 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Loder | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3ck *[ | +2.08 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | JMs*- | +1.94 | 84 | 75 |
| #3 | Loder | +1.26 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | alnzera | +1.13 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | D3Lord | -0.75 | 59 | 50 |





