








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 15% |
| Smokes | 749 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 516 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,708 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Litoris | 47% | 36 |
| #2 | Rentik7 | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | HUKABUKA♕ | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | Lord Fubz | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | Krøllert | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rentik7 | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | HUKABUKA♕ | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | Lord Fubz | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | Krøllert | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | SoulTaker4 | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUKABUKA♕ | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Rentik7 | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Mike Litoris | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Krøllert | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | SoulTaker4 | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUKABUKA♕ | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lord Fubz | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rentik7 | 92 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Krøllert | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mike Litoris | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rentik7 | +3.53 | 82 | 85 |
| #2 | HUKABUKA♕ | +1.35 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | Krøllert | +0.34 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | love sosa | -1.20 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | SoulTaker4 | -1.40 | 67 | 63 |





