








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1408 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1082 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1947 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,070 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BasilTheHerb | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | β―β£ΖΗΙ¨ΥΌβ£β― | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Laggs | 52% | 99 |
| #4 | Krummels | 51% | 90 |
| #5 | ππ
°ππ
Άπ
΄ | 48% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SBR | 43% | 42 |
| #9 | NepH | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | Mr Luba Wuba | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | PyroMNKEY | 38% | 26 |
| #12 | Stroesa | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laggs | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ππ
°ππ
Άπ
΄ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Krummels | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SBR | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | NepH | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krummels | 189 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Laggs | 185 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | β―β£ΖΗΙ¨ΥΌβ£β― | 178 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | ππ
°ππ
Άπ
΄ | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | SBR | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RABBIT | +2.18 | 34 | 56 |
| #2 | NepH | +1.63 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | β―β£ΖΗΙ¨ΥΌβ£β― | +0.82 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Mr Luba Wuba | +0.52 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | Krummels | +0.20 | 42 | 64 |





