








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2052 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2051 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1408 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,899 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Luba Wuba | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | GigglyGust | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Tit-Bits | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | RABBIT | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | β―β£ΖΗΙ¨ΥΌβ£β― | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | BasilTheHerb | 41% | 27 |
| #12 | SBR | 39% | 51 |
| #13 | Stroesa | 39% | 31 |
| #14 | PyroMNKEY | 37% | 54 |
| #15 | Bella | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ
°ππ
Άπ
΄ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | NepH | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | PyroMNKEY | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | RABBIT | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Bella | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β―β£ΖΗΙ¨ΥΌβ£β― | 448 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | RABBIT | 239 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | ππ
°ππ
Άπ
΄ | 213 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Krummels | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | NepH | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Luba Wuba | +3.92 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | NepH | +3.03 | 54 | 53 |
| #3 | Tit-Bits | +2.65 | 55 | 49 |
| #4 | RABBIT | +2.19 | 36 | 54 |
| #5 | Trans-Former | +2.03 | 52 | 57 |





