








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3268 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2046 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2536 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,650 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Krummels | 47% | 51 |
| #11 | Bella | 47% | 32 |
| #12 | BasilTheHerb | 46% | 52 |
| #13 | PyroMNKEY | 43% | 60 |
| #14 | RiskyBiscuits | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🆂🅰🆁🅶🅴 | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | PyroMNKEY | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Laggs | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | NepH | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BasilTheHerb | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laggs | 213 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | 🆂🅰🆁🅶🅴 | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Krummels | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | PyroMNKEY | 94 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | RABBIT | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Luba Wuba | +3.34 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | NepH | +3.01 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | RABBIT | +2.70 | 37 | 54 |
| #4 | ☯☣ƈǟɨռ☣☯ | +1.41 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | BasilTheHerb | +1.32 | 50 | 33 |





