








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4407 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4838 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3349 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4600 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,322 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pibble | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | FourArc | 67% | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ Wanted | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | kr3a7ur | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Daniel | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Odahh | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | Owen4k | 43% | 92 |
| #12 | FemboyNova | 42% | 33 |
| #13 | Maris | 42% | 48 |
| #14 | ostemannen | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskham | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ozzy | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Daniel | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ✪ Wanted | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 282 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Eskham | 222 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Owen4k | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pibble | 154 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | ozzy | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pibble | +3.38 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | FourArc | +2.63 | 92 | 45 |
| #3 | Temp0h | +1.97 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | ozzy | +1.69 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪ Wanted | +1.25 | 87 | 56 |





