








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 907 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8084 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4269 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3382 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5578 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,969,664 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >synchron!ze. | 34 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Tox1c | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Ajnabee (Woof) | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | K9RTIK SINGH | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | JoJo | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >synchron!ze. | 825 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | Tox1c | 739 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #3 | Ajnabee (Woof) | 648 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | K9RTIK SINGH | 590 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Redsopez | 416 | 0.18 | 9 min |





