








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 663 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12169 | 34% |
| Smokes | 10107 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6434 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6589 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,729 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K9RTIK SINGH | 62% | 74 |
| #2 | Monkey D. Luffy | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | v1k | 58% | 48 |
| #4 | RHYTHMX | 56% | 149 |
| #5 | >synchron!ze. | 53% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandu -iwnl- | 24 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | RHYTHMX | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | >synchron!ze. | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | scarface☂ | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Ajnabee (Woof) | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ajnabee (Woof) | 589 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | >synchron!ze. | 487 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | RHYTHMX | 378 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | scarface☂ | 314 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Redsopez | 256 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tox1c | +1.31 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | Gandu -iwnl- | +0.96 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | v1k | +0.75 | 61 | 41 |
| #4 | >synchron!ze. | +0.74 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | BlackSalt | +0.46 | 77 | 51 |





