








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




164 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5502 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4762 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 949 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,213,646 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nath | 46% | 159 |
| #6 | QuackCocain | 46% | 178 |
| #7 | Dwight Schrute | 44% | 224 |
| #8 | Dont Mind Tha | 42% | 183 |
| #9 | pesso | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dwight Schrute | 59 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Dont Mind Tha | 36 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Nath | 27 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | QuackCocain | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | pesso | 14 | 0.0205 |





