








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7883 | 42% |
| Smokes | 5062 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5397 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,146,867 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | The Lyon | 46% | 63 |
| #8 | Dwight Schrute | 45% | 225 |
| #9 | Roxo | 45% | 109 |
| #10 | Geed | 42% | 183 |
| #11 | pesso | 36% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geed | 889 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | pesso | 573 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Dwight Schrute | 499 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Nath | 423 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Roxo | 375 | 0.17 | 9 min |





