








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3671 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2707 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2623 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,889 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geed | 57 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Dont Mind Tha | 28 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Dwight Schrute | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | pesso | 12 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | QuackCocain | 6 | 0.0030 |





