








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4888 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6415 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4419 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3413 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,089 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Lyon | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | QuackCocain | 49% | 178 |
| #3 | GerMudder | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | Nath | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | Roxo | 46% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geed | 86 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | Dont Mind Tha | 41 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | pesso | 32 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | Nath | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | QuackCocain | 12 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geed | 961 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Dont Mind Tha | 959 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #3 | Roxo | 493 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | pesso | 388 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nath | 272 | 0.11 | 7 min |





