








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 679 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,734 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArchTurtle88™ | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Aimer | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | dot | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | n0ize | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Ash | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Girth Brooks | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Summer | 41% | 58 |
| #10 | HinkieBall | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | deztrukt | 22% | 18 |
| #12 | 𝓲𝓼𝓱 | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Aimer | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | GafTape | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | n0ize | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | HinkieBall | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 412 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | dot | 234 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Summer | 220 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | ArchTurtle88™ | 149 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | HinkieBall | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | +3.67 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | n0ize | +3.67 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | HinkieBall | +1.24 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | Piss | +0.47 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | Aimer | +0.35 | 67 | 57 |





