








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 331 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 757 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,027 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArchTurtle88™ | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Aimer | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | n0ize | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Piss | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | deztrukt | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | dot | 42% | 83 |
| #7 | Summer | 37% | 46 |
| #8 | Ash | 37% | 46 |
| #9 | HinkieBall | 29% | 21 |
| #10 | 𝓲𝓼𝓱 | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Aimer | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | HinkieBall | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Ash | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Summer | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 270 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | dot | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Summer | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Piss | 146 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ArchTurtle88™ | 90 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | +3.43 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | HinkieBall | +1.96 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | n0ize | +1.42 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | Piss | +0.90 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | Aimer | +0.73 | 69 | 64 |





