








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3657 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2161 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2128 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,455 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArchTurtle88™ | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | dot | 52% | 164 |
| #3 | Aimer | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Pun | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | HinkieBall | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 𝓲𝓼𝓱 | 40% | 43 |
| #10 | Valier | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | GafTape | 37% | 46 |
| #12 | Girth Brooks | 25% | 24 |
| #13 | deztrukt | 6% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | 19 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Aimer | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | GafTape | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Ash | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Piss | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aimer | 519 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | dot | 305 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ash | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Piss | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | HinkieBall | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | +4.19 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | n0ize | +3.47 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | HinkieBall | +2.12 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | Aimer | +1.45 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Piss | +0.80 | 80 | 62 |





