








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2394 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3534 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2085 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2267 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,063 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | SuperShooter777 | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | YUNG Sweatshop | 72% | 32 |
| #4 | SPIN TEST!! | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Ich bin Noah | 64% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TidusTacos | 45% | 51 |
| #11 | mdJ | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | PrAe | 41% | 29 |
| #13 | Orbits08 | 35% | 26 |
| #14 | Shock | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich bin Noah | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | YUNG Sweatshop | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Royal | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | TidusTacos | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Perplex | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orbits08 | 215 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #2 | Royal | 202 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | PrAe | 200 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | mdJ | 137 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | TidusTacos | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link | +3.86 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | _-LOGIC-_ | +2.36 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | SPIN TEST!! | +2.36 | 43 | 79 |
| #4 | Orbits08 | +2.29 | 73 | 82 |
| #5 | Royal | +2.03 | 76 | 63 |





