








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




252 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4346 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4676 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5580 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4514 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,330,363 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 938 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolling a joint rn sorry | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | Veteran | 61% | 184 |
| #3 | timmywalkemdownwitharpndswitches | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | taiga | 59% | 213 |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | 58% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 105 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | taiga | 38 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Baja Blast | 20 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Veteran | 16 | 0.0044 |





