








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1985 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2435 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2750 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2660 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,838 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaze | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Sparta Kuss | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Yohannefis ^_^ | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Hyper^ | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | VAC Calino | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | izid00d | 49% | 121 |
| #8 | Ambition | 46% | 109 |
| #9 | CrazyLegs | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | Vib | 44% | 27 |
| #11 | Imploded Penguin | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffen | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ambition | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Yohannefis ^_^ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | izid00d | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | VAC Calino | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | izid00d | 439 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Muffen | 435 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ambition | 328 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | VAC Calino | 105 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yohannefis ^_^ | 98 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imploded Penguin | +2.77 | 58 | 77 |
| #2 | Kaze | +2.17 | 44 | 80 |
| #3 | Vib | +1.90 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | Muffen | +1.68 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | Hyper^ | +0.95 | 34 | 65 |





