










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1474 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1254 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,848 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshwa | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | cej0t | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | cypher | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | MYLT$I | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Gizmy | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tree | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | SamBox. | 56% | 27 |
| #8 | dobbo | 55% | 11 |
| #9 | peri | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | Lily ♡ | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamBox. | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | peri | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Yoshwa | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamBox. | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | MYLT$I | 101 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | dobbo | 75 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #4 | peri | 67 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | cej0t | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZUWU | +3.99 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | cypher | +3.35 | 95 | 64 |
| #3 | Tree | +2.10 | 96 | 69 |
| #4 | Lily ♡ | +1.71 | 61 | 53 |
| #5 | cej0t | +1.36 | 83 | 63 |





