








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 744 | 33% |
| Smokes | 722 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 306 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,153 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bish | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Roman Ricch | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Gizmy | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | PrimeOP | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | xyph x) | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | H$ | 75% | 4 |
| #11 | cypher | 67% | 6 |
| #12 | AZUWU | 55% | 11 |
| #13 | Angbwa | 50% | 4 |
| #14 | p0le | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bevvenator | 2 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Gizmy | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bevvenator | 31 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #2 | THE KING DEEZY | 28 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #3 | AZUWU | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gizmy | 22 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | xyph x) | 17 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bevvenator | +3.80 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | AZUWU | +3.65 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | Gizmy | +3.21 | 81 | 81 |
| #4 | dobbo | +3.07 | 90 | 71 |
| #5 | Roman Ricch | +2.65 | 58 | 63 |





