








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 2,283 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1166 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1225 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1033 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1077 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,914 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lights | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | sdy | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Rigon | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | AZUWU | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | fantsu | 62% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fantsu | 9 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fantsu | 153 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | AZUWU | 73 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pod! | 68 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | lights | 56 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | sdy | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MYLT$I | +3.79 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | Pod! | +2.57 | 90 | 78 |
| #3 | AZUWU | +2.24 | 89 | 72 |
| #4 | HENU | +2.23 | 92 | 78 |
| #5 | lights | +2.14 | 89 | 72 |





