








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1498 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2056 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1770 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,516 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRIMZONT | 73% | 59 |
| #2 | Whip | 67% | 54 |
| #3 | /// 4PPRCH | 66% | 41 |
| #4 | Parka | 64% | 64 |
| #5 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 59% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | /// 4PPRCH | 66% | 41 |
| #4 | Parka | 64% | 64 |
| #5 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 59% | 105 |
| #6 | derki | 53% | 72 |
| #7 | AR'kinG♛ | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derki | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | CRIMZONT | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Parka | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | AR'kinG♛ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | CRIMZONT | 216 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | AR'kinG♛ | 165 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | derki | 119 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Parka | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DISI༒ | NoBa | +1.97 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | derki | +1.07 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | CRIMZONT | +0.96 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | AR'kinG♛ | +0.76 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | Parka | +0.45 | 50 | 50 |





