








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3090 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3042 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4688 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2848 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,558 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D'x Diponzi el coach | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | Whip | 66% | 76 |
| #3 | CRIMZONT | 65% | 205 |
| #4 | Manfrek | 65% | 97 |
| #5 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | 64% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ☭JKIUBER☬ | 60% | 48 |
| #9 | Parka | 60% | 30 |
| #10 | AR'kinG♛ | 60% | 161 |
| #11 | DISI༒ | NoBa | 53% | 72 |
| #12 | Darkwosk | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AR'kinG♛ | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | CRIMZONT | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | DISI༒ | NoBa | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Manfrek | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRIMZONT | 875 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | AR'kinG♛ | 564 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | D'x Diponzi el coach | 277 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | /// 4PPRCH | 239 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ;Apology ☬ | 161 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derki | +1.68 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | CRIMZONT | +1.23 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Manfrek | +0.99 | 74 | 49 |
| #4 | ASLAK ⭕⃤ | +0.84 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | ;Apology ☬ | +0.75 | 66 | 64 |





