








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1433 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1703 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1511 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1400 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,378 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕[H]abibi[G]locksberg♕ | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | No4h | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | aLxB ♿ | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | min :> | 60% | 52 |
| #5 | l†lbo | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | l†lbo | 55% | 29 |
| #6 | MuhaK9 | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | ree | 53% | 87 |
| #8 | Pikajew | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | Gravy | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ree | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Pikajew | 6 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | ♕[H]abibi[G]locksberg♕ | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | min :> | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | l†lbo | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | min :> | 319 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | ree | 262 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gravy | 117 | 0.44 | 4 min |
| #4 | l†lbo | 111 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♕[H]abibi[G]locksberg♕ | 108 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikajew | +3.27 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | l†lbo | +2.42 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | min :> | +2.01 | 81 | 77 |
| #4 | MuhaK9 | +1.38 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | ree | +1.18 | 72 | 63 |





