








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6402 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6880 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6251 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5867 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,564,987 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PoliceMan | 49% | 204 |
| #6 | BranTaku | 44% | 54 |
| #7 | Quagmire | 42% | 154 |
| #8 | The Voices are Too Loud | 41% | 99 |
| #9 | evilc009 | 40% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quagmire | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ❤ | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Milk_man | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | evilc009 | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | The Voices are Too Loud | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk_man | 590 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ❤ | 555 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Quagmire | 501 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | evilc009 | 162 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | PoliceMan | 134 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk_man | +2.78 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Jose | +2.65 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | ❤ | +1.53 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | The Voices are Too Loud | -1.54 | 53 | 29 |
| #5 | BranTaku | -2.33 | 63 | 33 |





