








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4038 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6024 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3454 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4122 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,472 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 884 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bigman Bruno | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Jose | 54% | 234 |
| #3 | ❤ | 53% | 283 |
| #4 | Mukarram Abood al-Tabatabai | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | evilc009 | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jose | 849 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | ❤ | 400 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Quagmire | 259 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | evilc009 | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mukarram Abood al-Tabatabai | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk_man | +2.82 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Jose | +1.88 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | ❤ | +1.14 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | Mukarram Abood al-Tabatabai | -0.56 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | The Voices are Too Loud | -2.31 | 56 | 30 |





