








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1519 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 847 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 772 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,428 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toad | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | GamerGoodie | 65% | 82 |
| #3 | Maximus | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Swol Cheese | 62% | 68 |
| #5 | t0fu | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Downs32 | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Swol Cheese | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | GamerGoodie | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Rygoodie | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Steven Bills | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerGoodie | 270 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | FOENEM | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maximus | 110 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Master Downs32 | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rygoodie | 76 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerGoodie | +3.11 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | Maximus | +2.48 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | haroldhive | +2.40 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | Rygoodie | +2.23 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Huch | +1.70 | 76 | 60 |





