








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8983 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8603 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5631 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4017 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,005 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | y0sh. | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | TELBOY | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | CaruCaru | 49% | 366 |
| #4 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | MadLadMatt | 42% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TELBOY | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | CaruCaru | 49% | 366 |
| #4 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | MadLadMatt | 42% | 175 |
| #6 | Retro | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MadLadMatt | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | TELBOY | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | 2147 | 0.27 | 58 min |
| #2 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 718 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | MadLadMatt | 559 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | TELBOY | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Retro | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | +1.57 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | +0.62 | 50 | 59 |
| #3 | Retro | -0.16 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | TELBOY | -0.21 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | Drayson218 | -0.48 | 53 | 73 |





