








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1061 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 569 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5723 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3658 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4691 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,272,908 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alkaholik | 53% | 229 |
| #2 | Emzies | 47% | 161 |
| #3 | CaruCaru | 47% | 119 |
| #4 | TELBOY | 46% | 91 |
| #5 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 46% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Taiga | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Pigeon | 41% | 39 |
| #8 | Drayson218 | 39% | 38 |
| #9 | johaN - | 39% | 41 |
| #10 | Cat In Shoes | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alkaholik | 28 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Emzies | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Taiga | 16 | 0.0235 |
| #4 | Pigeon | 12 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | 615 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | Alkaholik | 537 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 499 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Drayson218 | 244 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #5 | TELBOY | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alkaholik | +0.82 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | johaN - | +0.74 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Retro | +0.57 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | CaruCaru | +0.46 | 59 | 77 |
| #5 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | +0.01 | 55 | 59 |





