








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 530 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7419 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5997 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5845 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3713 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,584 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TELBOY | 54% | 134 |
| #2 | CaruCaru | 53% | 449 |
| #3 | Alkaholik | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Drayson218 | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | Retro | 46% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CaruCaru | 53% | 449 |
| #3 | Alkaholik | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Drayson218 | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | Retro | 46% | 111 |
| #6 | MadLadMatt | 44% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drayson218 | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | CaruCaru | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | MadLadMatt | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Alkaholik | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Retro | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | 2697 | 0.28 | 74 min |
| #2 | Drayson218 | 2043 | 0.35 | 56 min |
| #3 | MadLadMatt | 588 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Alkaholik | 354 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | Retro | 219 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | +1.36 | 66 | 77 |
| #2 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | +0.46 | 53 | 60 |
| #3 | Alkaholik | +0.30 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | Retro | +0.28 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | TELBOY | -0.73 | 58 | 61 |





