








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3266 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1857 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2552 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,697 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StuartUO | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | TELBOY | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | CaruCaru | 48% | 206 |
| #4 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 44% | 168 |
| #5 | Drayson218 | 42% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TELBOY | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | CaruCaru | 48% | 206 |
| #4 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 44% | 168 |
| #5 | Drayson218 | 42% | 175 |
| #6 | Retro | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drayson218 | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | CaruCaru | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | TELBOY | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drayson218 | 1376 | 0.37 | 38 min |
| #2 | CaruCaru | 1265 | 0.29 | 34 min |
| #3 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | 480 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | StuartUO | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | TELBOY | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaruCaru | +1.88 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | 丹レヨ几呂ヨ尺 | +0.84 | 51 | 59 |
| #3 | Retro | +0.31 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | Drayson218 | +0.15 | 55 | 76 |
| #5 | TELBOY | -0.27 | 55 | 66 |





