








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 852 | 21% |
| Smokes | 922 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1308 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,221 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dezark | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | IR!SH | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | ᶜᵒᶰᵉ | 60% | 62 |
| #4 | hvac | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Chooch | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chooch | 55% | 44 |
| #6 | Junielle | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | krazed -x1- | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | Link | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IR!SH | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ᶜᵒᶰᵉ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Link | 2 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IR!SH | 183 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | ᶜᵒᶰᵉ | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | krazed -x1- | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chooch | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | dezark | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSHY | +5.02 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | dezark | +1.82 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | krazed -x1- | +1.68 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Link | -0.24 | 33 | 63 |
| #5 | Chooch | -0.86 | 75 | 53 |





