








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1788 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 718 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6852 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4943 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7454 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6663 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,263,645 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3576 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | krazed -x1- | 52% | 753 |
| #6 | TheBreadmeister | 52% | 75 |
| #7 | dezark | 50% | 323 |
| #8 | spOOkie | 46% | 71 |
| #9 | j1re | 44% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krazed -x1- | 17 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | j1re | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | TheBreadmeister | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Junielle | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | dezark | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krazed -x1- | 1701 | 0.11 | 50 min |
| #2 | dezark | 622 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | spOOkie | 435 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #4 | TheBreadmeister | 378 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | Junielle | 327 | 0.05 | 10 min |





