








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5353 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6163 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5408 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5759 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,748 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 989 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSHY | 69% | 65 |
| #2 | Bob the Wizard | 67% | 43 |
| #3 | thats life | 66% | 50 |
| #4 | FiSHY | 63% | 38 |
| #5 | TheBreadmeister | 61% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mrkorney | 58% | 45 |
| #9 | cheZ | 54% | 63 |
| #10 | Junielle | 54% | 95 |
| #11 | spOOkie | 50% | 36 |
| #12 | Chooch | 50% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chooch | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | TheBreadmeister | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | thats life | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | mrkorney | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Junielle | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 788 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | Chooch | 579 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Link | 549 | 0.34 | 17 min |
| #4 | spOOkie | 236 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 211 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSHY | +4.63 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | FiSHY | +3.78 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | dezark | +2.03 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Link | +1.35 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | Bob the Wizard | +1.24 | 73 | 55 |





