








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 752 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11135 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10957 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8298 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9625 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,291,550 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 843 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSHY | 65% | 207 |
| #2 | PaladinofDraco | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 59% | 85 |
| #4 | TheBreadmeister | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | Junielle | 54% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TheBreadmeister | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | Junielle | 54% | 280 |
| #6 | Chooch | 52% | 753 |
| #7 | thats life | 48% | 60 |
| #8 | WHIFFU | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chooch | 30 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Junielle | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | thats life | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | TheBreadmeister | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chooch | 1209 | 0.08 | 29 min |
| #2 | TheBreadmeister | 583 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | Junielle | 278 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | FiSHY | 265 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | WHIFFU | 260 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiSHY | +4.41 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | krazed -x1- | +1.58 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | thats life | +1.02 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | +0.62 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | WHIFFU | -0.32 | 54 | 70 |





