








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1087 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 677 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




193 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13603 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 9328 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3814 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,323,415 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | polio | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | worldedit^ | 51% | 153 |
| #5 | N | 50% | 243 |
| #6 | ShappaDap | 49% | 267 |
| #7 | Jimara | 46% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimara | 63 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | N | 32 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ShappaDap | 25 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | worldedit^ | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | polio | 9 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimara | 794 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | N | 576 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | worldedit^ | 375 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | ShappaDap | 351 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | polio | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrisk | +1.47 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Jimara | +0.78 | 76 | 47 |
| #3 | N | +0.35 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | polio | +0.12 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | GD3 <3 ohlana | +0.05 | 58 | 50 |





