








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2937 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3639 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3876 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3506 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,945,410 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⁺₊ 1̰̤̗̟̉̂́ͅ.͒ͦ̐2 | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | henryy | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 57% | 136 |
| #4 | leandoer96 | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | neko | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 57% | 136 |
| #4 | leandoer96 | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | neko | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | frank g | 50% | 153 |
| #7 | HoE | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frank g | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | leandoer96 | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | ⁺₊ 1̰̤̗̟̉̂́ͅ.͒ͦ̐2 | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | neko | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frank g | 300 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | ⁺₊ 1̰̤̗̟̉̂́ͅ.͒ͦ̐2 | 272 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #3 | leandoer96 | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 193 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | neko | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoE | +1.34 | 79 | 34 |
| #2 | yoon | +1.25 | 78 | 47 |
| #3 | henryy | +1.12 | 79 | 38 |
| #4 | frank g | +1.05 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | neko | +0.22 | 69 | 38 |





