








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2866 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2308 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2067 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,077 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoon | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 50% | 261 |
| #3 | neko | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | frank g | 48% | 181 |
| #5 | henryy | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 50% | 261 |
| #3 | neko | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | frank g | 48% | 181 |
| #5 | henryy | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | ⁺₊ 1̰̤̗̟̉̂́ͅ.͒ͦ̐2 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frank g | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | yoon | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | neko | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | henryy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frank g | 395 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | 1994 Honda Prelude SI | 302 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | yoon | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ⁺₊ 1̰̤̗̟̉̂́ͅ.͒ͦ̐2 | 149 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | neko | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoon | +2.01 | 82 | 49 |
| #2 | frank g | +1.38 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | neko | +0.66 | 75 | 38 |
| #4 | henryy | +0.20 | 74 | 44 |
| #5 | leandoer96 | -0.11 | 76 | 50 |





