








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 26% |
| Smokes | 360 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 317 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 326 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,430 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | KRJ | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Iske | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | a | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | tr4ktor | 0% | 3 |
| #13 | bne shAqiri | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghostless | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ouleh | 3 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | Menyerang Goslings | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghostless | 239 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #2 | Menyerang Goslings | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 64 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | KRJ | 47 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mello Shelby Sigma - ✪ M - <3 | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | +3.62 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | stepaa | +1.79 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | ouleh | +1.44 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | KRJ | -0.32 | 65 | 78 |
| #5 | Menyerang Goslings | -0.35 | 67 | 66 |





